The Third Day after Vic’s Murder

I was recently honored to read part of a chapter titled, “The Third Day after Vic’s Murder,” from my memoir Angel Hero, Murder in Hawaii, A True Story, for the National League of American P​en Women in Honolulu. Below is a chapter preview for you as well, my lovely readers.

I WOKE UP SWEATING, overwhelmed by a feeling of loss. Curled into a fetal position, my belly cramped and my body spasmed with sobs.

I’d felt numb since Vic’s death, a sleepwalker propelled by adrenaline, just going through the motions of living. Now my head tingled and I saw Vic in my mind so clearly I could almost touch him. He crossed his muscular arms across his chest, looked at me with his sky blue eyes and dropped one side of his mouth in mock reproach, the way he did when he teased me. As waves of pain crashed through me, I could almost hear him say, “Can’t you see? I’m right here, Lizzy.”

Hours later, I lay like a rag doll on my damp futon, completely spent, ice cubes inside soggy napkins pressed against my eyelids. A strong impression of Vic slapping his chest, amazed and delighted to discover he still existed, came over me.

Could he really be present in spirit? I thought about Christ rising from the tomb on the third day and wondered if all spirits resurrected after three days.

A sudden, jarring feeling, like an internal shockwave, shook my chest four times in rapid succession. It was eerie, bizarre. I trembled.

Part of me wondered if this is what insanity felt like. Another part remembered Vic had been shot four times.

“Vic. I think you’re here.” Again, my head tingled. A feeling of peace enveloped me. I fell asleep, the soggy napkins still soothing my eyes.

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I wrote several songs to honor Vic. I’ll share some of the lyrics from my song Resurrection with you below. I slightly adapted some of the lyrics for this particular reading. You can also listen to a version recorded by the great Shelly Miller below. Enjoy!

I loved you madly, did you know? I wish I’d told you so
But both of us were shy, and I Never dreamed that you would die
At the hand of a jealous friend, You never saw until the end
The hate he hid inside his mind, The lust that made him deaf and blind
Three days of grief, then resurrection
Your energy shines out to me, Love connection, resurrection

I dreamed you died protecting me, Your spirit felt so wild and free
As you ascended into light I plunged into the darkest night
It comforts me that God above Says no man has a greater love
Than he who dies to save a friend. Could that be why your soul transcended
Three days of grief, then resurrected,
You fought with him and thought of me, My hero for eternity

Bridge: On days when grief won’t set me free
I feel your love anointing me

You touch my dreams so tenderly,
Great heart, your love still shines for me
Love connection, resurrection

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