The Third Day after Vic’s Murder

I was recently honored to read part of a chapter titled, “The Third Day after Vic’s Murder,” from my memoir Angel Hero, Murder in Hawaii, A True Story, for the National League of American P​en Women in Honolulu. Below is a chapter preview for you as well, my lovely readers.

I WOKE UP SWEATING, overwhelmed by a feeling of loss. Curled into a fetal position, my belly cramped and my body spasmed with sobs.

I’d felt numb since Vic’s death, a sleepwalker propelled by adrenaline, just going through the motions of living. Now my head tingled and I saw Vic in my mind so clearly I could almost touch him. He crossed his muscular arms across his chest, looked at me with his sky blue eyes and dropped one side of his mouth in mock reproach, the way he did when he teased me. As waves of pain crashed through me, I could almost hear him say, “Can’t you see? I’m right here, Lizzy.”

Hours later, I lay like a rag doll on my damp futon, completely spent, ice cubes inside soggy napkins pressed against my eyelids. A strong impression of Vic slapping his chest, amazed and delighted to discover he still existed, came over me.

Could he really be present in spirit? I thought about Christ rising from the tomb on the third day and wondered if all spirits resurrected after three days.

A sudden, jarring feeling, like an internal shockwave, shook my chest four times in rapid succession. It was eerie, bizarre. I trembled.

Part of me wondered if this is what insanity felt like. Another part remembered Vic had been shot four times.

“Vic. I think you’re here.” Again, my head tingled. A feeling of peace enveloped me. I fell asleep, the soggy napkins still soothing my eyes.

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I wrote several songs to honor Vic. I’ll share some of the lyrics from my song Resurrection with you below. I slightly adapted some of the lyrics for this particular reading. You can also listen to a version recorded by the great Shelly Miller below. Enjoy!

I loved you madly, did you know?

I wish I’d told you so

But both of us were shy, and I

Never dreamed that you would die

At the hand of a jealous friend

You never saw until the end

The hate he hid inside his mind

The lust that made him deaf and blind

Three days of grief, then resurrection,

I felt his bullets shatter me

And prayed to know why this should be

Three days of grief, then resurrection

Your energy shines out to me

Love connection, resurrection

I dreamed you died protecting me

Your spirit felt so wild and free

As you ascended into light

I plunged into the darkest night

It comforts me that God above

Says no man has a greater love

Than he who dies to save a friend

Could that be why your soul transcended

Three days of grief, then resurrection,

You fought with him and thought of me

I’ll always be your devotee

Three days of grief, then resurrection

Your energy shines out to me

Love connection, resurrection

On days when grief won’t set me free

I feel your love anointing me

Three days of grief, then resurrection,

You touch my dreams so tenderly

Your energy infuses me

Three days of grief, then resurrection

Great heart, your love still shines for me

Love connection, resurrection

Resurrection, resurrection

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